astrology.com:
"June 17, 2003 - Sweetness turns into a different taste altogether. Obligations still bind people that may have grown apart. Closure comes with a price that you're more than willing to pay."

so this was my horoscope on tuesday. i just looked at it today. and how crazy is it that it was just ABSOLUTELY TRUE.

I haven't talked to anyone really for a while....I've mostly been just hangin out at home, doin some cleanin, playin with the playstation2, amusing my visiting cousin, bein a bridal bitch...stuff like that. I just didn't really wanna talk to anyone anymore after saturday. And it has nothing to do with performing with U of I that day, I promise.

I got a phone call from my best friend from grade school on saturday before the performance. She wasn't sure if it was true or not, but she said that she just had to call me when she heard. One of our grade school friends died on friday...she was the protector in our lil cool group. Sunday at church was bad when I heard her name mentioned during petitions...i had to climb over my parents and leave the pew to cry in the bathroom. Monday, me and my best friend went to her wake...i broke down at her coffin, then wet her mama's shoulder with my tears as she consoled me. What a strong woman.... Tuesday, I went to her funeral. I saw my other 3 best friends from grade school there and one of our other classmates. We stayed till they filled her grave...till we were the last of 5 cars out of so many. I've never seen so many people fill our church for a funeral. And I've been to my fair share of them. Then we went to the luncheon at our old school...talked about old times...laughed alot.... how bittersweet it was. What a nice precursor to our 10 year reunion.

She was one of my real good friends in gradeschool. We both loved to draw, and we both wanted to draw for disney. I always thought that between the 2 of us, she would definitely make it. But many of you know how good I am with keeping in touch. I hadn't seen her in about 8 years. I sometimes wonder to myself why i cried so hard and why it bothers me so much. but i know why. it's not the same reason why her friends from college were crying, or those that kept in touch with her...it's a different reason, and it's mine alone. I'm sure you all can figure that out for yourselves.

"Sweetness turns into a different taste altogether. Obligations still bind people that may have grown apart. Closure comes with a price that you're more than willing to pay."

The only thing that's wrong with that horoscope is the word 'obligations.' That word sounds too business like...too...i-don't-wanna-do-this-but-i-have-to. It wasn't JUST an obligation. Her mama said, 'thank you so much for coming, fatima,' and I said. 'of course.' Because I meant that. Because I wanted to go. Because at some point in my life, I loved her too. Hopefully she knows that now...and that she's truly happy.

.all my love.