::friday five::

1. Is your hair naturally curly, wavy, or straight? Long or short? well, i think my hair actually maybe a lil wavy...not much, but a lil. cuz when i air dry it, it dries a lil wavy. other than that, since i'm asian, it's straight. and very long.

2. How has your hair changed over your lifetime? when i was younger, i had the dreaded bowl cut. but after 3rd grade (see #5), i decided to always have hair longer than my shoulders. eighth grade was really long, then in high school it was pseudo long, junior year hs i decided to cut it to about mah shoulders which i've pretty much always had until last year when i decided to grow it out.

3. How do your normally wear your hair? normally, i just put it up in one of those messy buns. i think the longest i've ever had my hair was in like seventh or eighth grade. my hair reached just above mah butt.

4. If you could change your hair this minute, what would it look like? hmmmmm...i've been likin mah hair lately (very long, almost to mah butt) except with layers and layers in the front just beneath mah chin (bangs but not really).

5. Ever had a hair disaster? What happened? so this changed my whole outlook on hair. in like 3rd grade, i still had the whole bowl cut thing goin on. picture day was comin up and mah mommy decided to curl my hair, but just at the bottom. she didn't believe in us having curly hair, tho when i was younger, it's wut i always wanted. so when i took the picture, i looked like a fuckin mushroom. i hated it!!! so i decided NEVER AGAIN will i ever have a hair cut that didn't reach mah shoulders. it was traumatic. ;)

aight that's it for now. oOoOo...2 days in a row. how exciting! well don't get used to it. ;) hehehe.



"June 17, 2003 - Sweetness turns into a different taste altogether. Obligations still bind people that may have grown apart. Closure comes with a price that you're more than willing to pay."

so this was my horoscope on tuesday. i just looked at it today. and how crazy is it that it was just ABSOLUTELY TRUE.

I haven't talked to anyone really for a while....I've mostly been just hangin out at home, doin some cleanin, playin with the playstation2, amusing my visiting cousin, bein a bridal bitch...stuff like that. I just didn't really wanna talk to anyone anymore after saturday. And it has nothing to do with performing with U of I that day, I promise.

I got a phone call from my best friend from grade school on saturday before the performance. She wasn't sure if it was true or not, but she said that she just had to call me when she heard. One of our grade school friends died on friday...she was the protector in our lil cool group. Sunday at church was bad when I heard her name mentioned during petitions...i had to climb over my parents and leave the pew to cry in the bathroom. Monday, me and my best friend went to her wake...i broke down at her coffin, then wet her mama's shoulder with my tears as she consoled me. What a strong woman.... Tuesday, I went to her funeral. I saw my other 3 best friends from grade school there and one of our other classmates. We stayed till they filled her grave...till we were the last of 5 cars out of so many. I've never seen so many people fill our church for a funeral. And I've been to my fair share of them. Then we went to the luncheon at our old school...talked about old times...laughed alot.... how bittersweet it was. What a nice precursor to our 10 year reunion.

She was one of my real good friends in gradeschool. We both loved to draw, and we both wanted to draw for disney. I always thought that between the 2 of us, she would definitely make it. But many of you know how good I am with keeping in touch. I hadn't seen her in about 8 years. I sometimes wonder to myself why i cried so hard and why it bothers me so much. but i know why. it's not the same reason why her friends from college were crying, or those that kept in touch with her...it's a different reason, and it's mine alone. I'm sure you all can figure that out for yourselves.

"Sweetness turns into a different taste altogether. Obligations still bind people that may have grown apart. Closure comes with a price that you're more than willing to pay."

The only thing that's wrong with that horoscope is the word 'obligations.' That word sounds too business like...too...i-don't-wanna-do-this-but-i-have-to. It wasn't JUST an obligation. Her mama said, 'thank you so much for coming, fatima,' and I said. 'of course.' Because I meant that. Because I wanted to go. Because at some point in my life, I loved her too. Hopefully she knows that now...and that she's truly happy.

.all my love.