my turn!!!

so lemme talk about something happy...about my cuzin marilyn. so i've just recently been surfin around, tryin to catch up on ppl's pages...and i came across christine's this morning, and she answered some of marilyn's questions. so HEY! i wanna answer them too! well, as much as i can :) see, before marilyn, i was THEE baby of the family. and yes, i was treated as one too...and when marilyn was born, we all became her big bros n sisters...even tho she technically has a pair of her own. it was a change for me...i thought i liked it in the beginning, then i didn't like it, then i started liking it...at such a young age, it was kinda nice having a lil person looking up to you...that and having them do stuff fer u ;) hehehehe...but yah, unlike christine, marilyn IS the lil sister i never had. it's fun to talk to her and give advice...hear her stories, talk about life...yeah it's kewl :). like last saturday, i gave marilyn some self-defense tips that i was taught in hs...she wrote about it already. grab pull twist! or grab twist pull! whichever works fer ya! gotta love all girl schools... :D so this is for marilyn...the 23 year old point of view....even tho i think we talked about some of this stuff already...and alot of the stuff i agree with christine :D

What college do I want to go to?
in general, i think u should go away for school...but u know, within this state...UofI, NIU, are good, i think ISU is a party school...i can't remember really...but, depending on what yur interested in, some schools are better than others ;).
What should I major in?
oOoOo...well, wut do u like? hehehe...psych worked fer me, speech path for yur sister, bio general for claudine...if u like plannin events for ppl, u could do leisure studies...then u could work on cruise lines, or clubs or something...or u could try out my dream job and be a veterinarian! hahaha :D
Wait...do I even wanna go to college?
HELLZ YEAH. not only was college a good life experience, yes, it gave me a degree...after many years ;) hehehe jk
Should I go to my prom?
hahahaha...why not? yah, i kno u go to a ghetto school, but dude it's prom! go to at LEAST your senior prom ;).
Why's it so fricken hard to find a job?
hehehe...christine is right...go to a mall, or businesses around your home (easy access). if u think it's hard tryin to find a job now, wait till after u graduate college. they ALWAYS say the job market will be better next year, but i'm guessing that next year never comes...cuz it NEVER gets better!! argh.
When will I get my own bank account?
yah, yur gonna have to ask your parents. and even then, it'll prolly be a joint bank acct...but never fear, cuz that gives them easy access to give u money!!! yeahyeahyeah!
Am I ever gonna get my driver's license?
hahahahahaha...if u want it bad enough, you'll get it ;)
Would I make it on my own if I moved out at the age of 18?...19?...20?
it seems that christine took the political route and footsied around your question. hehehe...anyways, i'll be blunt. it's hard to tell if u could make it. it all depends on your situation if that time ever came...your maturity level, how independent u actually are, your determination...so anyways, christine actually is right tho. if u go away for school, it IS like living on your own. u have to take care of yourself, but with the 'rents helpin out when u ask. eventually, we all have to be on our own. :)
What's the deal with insurance? there's life insurance, car insurance, health insurance--wait--is health insurance the same as life insurance? And why doesn't your health insurance or whatever insurance take care of your dental work? or does it? 
man, we talked about this. I didn't even know really. no one's ever explained that crap to me...but maybe i didn't ask :D. anyways, don't woorie about it too much now. you're still young, and i'm sure your on your parent's insurance, at least till u graduate from college (that's why u should go to...if you're in school, i think u can be on your parents insurance longer...maybe. u'd have to ask ;)).
Why do bad things happen to good people?
ah. well yeah. bad things, as well as good things, are not picky. they'll happen to anybody. just like std's hehehehe...well not exactly hahaha.
Where should I get my tattoo?
hehehehe...that's all about personal preference...and also if u want yur parents kickin yur ass if they see it :D.
Should I still get my belly pierced?
go for it! i just hope u have a high threshold for pain. :D hehehe...actually, i think i heard that the labre (sp?) piercing hurts more...
Do I wanna become a photographer? a nurse? a physical therapist? a speech pathologist? do I wanna work with kids???
hehehehe...try it all out...do the research...make sure to do that! cuz if you're not willing to do wut these ppl go through and are required to do, then shooooooot, move on! ;)
Why am I so horrible with numbers?!
i don't think that our family is horrible with them, per se, just that we hate them. in hs, i didn't mind them, and i was good with it! but then college came along and made me hate the numbers...and i didn't do well with them anymore...awww...hehehe
My hair's getting long--should I cut it?
just a trim! i like it long, too!
What if I fuck up on SATs?!?!
dude! i always thought that the ACT was more important than the SAT...but yeah, you can take ALL those tests more than once ;) but i can't remember if they charge...prolly...then there's the thing with always having to study...or the stress... :D
How many friends from high school will I keep in touch with?
you're funny. you'll keep in touch with as many as you want to keep in touch with! let's count christines...i think we're at zero! nikki doesn't count, cuz they didn't really talk in hs. yes, i'm evil. claudine? hmm...at LEAST 1, maybe 2. me? 2 from hs, one from grade school, more or less. people change so much that sometimes, things just happen, people lose contact, but then find each other again...look at melanie! she's been friends with chariya for like a billion years...HAHAHA don't hit me!!! :D and then there's me, i kept in touch with one of my hs friends throughout college. and my other friend, i started talkin to again about 2 years ago. :)
Should I move out of Chicago?
absolutely not! well, at least no longer than 2 years...even a year...ew.
Should I move to another state?
nope!!! well, refer to above.
Will I ever visit the Phillippines?
everyone should go home to the PI at LEAST once, if not more. i hear that it's more fun when you're older. i was like 7 when i went. not so much fun...dude, i don't even really remember it...hehehe
Why don't I have cousins my age?
hahaha...i like christine's answer...but it's tru! your parents are relatively young... :)
What's it gonna be like if Michael or Marian get married?
more ...emotional. more exciting, cuz then you'll be waiting for those nieces n nephews...a lil more sad, cuz you'll fear that they've been taken away from you, in a way...cuz they're not just your sibling, but someone's spouse.
What if I get married before them?
honestly, i'd laugh. and then be sad, cuz if u get married b4 they do, then that would most likely mean that i'm not married either. hahahaha
When am I gonna get some nieces and nephews???
dude! i'm waiting too!!! and don't be lookin at me homegurl. ;)
Why am I so afraid of change?
christine's theory is good. for me, at this particular time, all the change that we've been experiencing hasn't necessarily been good. with everyone moving away, and other things that have changed in our lives, it's not unusual to be afraid of change. perhaps there's a fear that any sort of change is just going to be bad. BUT, i'm also hoping for some good changes to be comin around, so i'm not too afraid...maybe i'm also anxious.
Why does my dad karaoke every Saturday morning?
hahahaha...oh marilyn...to tell u the truth, it's prolly cuz it makes him feel good, and it's something fun for him. u prolly already know this :). sure, it may drive u crazy, so he could also be doin it fer that reason, cuz parents are funny that way.

so yeah! i gave as much insight as i could. that was fun :) soorie fer the long entry, but hey, i need something to do if i'm not workin ;)


man...my page is a lil messed up right now...i'll be fixin it tho...be patient ;)

check this out real quick...so i got this from my friend, abby...it's FREAKY KEWL!



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i wanna be happy, but i don't even know how.

yeah, it's sad. i'm at a certain point in my life where most of you, my friends, are...i've just graduated from college, i'm job searching even tho i DO have a great paying job (for something i believe i am not even qualified for, therefore making it a great paying job), and i don't even know exactly wut i'm looking for, or if i'm even ready for it...i'm lost even tho i'm not too sure how i got lost...

well, there's always that constant. boys are dumb (& dense). soorie guys, but that's what i've been seein lately. i've learned to hope but not to expect...but sometimes things just stay on your mind long enough that hope and expectation start holding hands...while i'm holding none. oh poor sad fata. wutever. "it'll happen when you least expect it." that's bullshit. there will always be a part of me that hopes and expects something. "when it happens to you, it'll be so great." damn str8 it better be great. i should get that in a guarantee. but i've come to accept this...i think. i may not like my current status, but i've been used to this now for a long time...

...and then there are the things we didn't expect to happen, that makes life 10 times worse.

last year, i went to 2 funerals. in the span of 5 months. that's 2 in the span of half a year. that really sucks. neither were expected. that sucks too. for both of them, i feel that i didn't know alot about them, just enough. but really, that wasn't enough. well at least with my mom i should have known more.

yeah, i'm still not done crying (in the general sense...i'm at work, and there's no crying at work!:P). i don't expect myself to be finished any time soon. it'll lessen, i'm sure. but it'll never go away. i wasn't ever told that by anyone, i just came to that realization.

see, i know that i AM lucky. yes, i'm lucky to have at least known my mommy till i was older, not having her die when i was young...i know that i'm lucky to have a supportive family, i'm lucky to have such great friends...but still. if some of you are thinking, 'wow, she's suck a spoiled lil brat! she's got a good life, a home, blahblahblah...' well fuck you. this is my life. i know i have all these things. that's why i feel guilty, too, fuckers. but when any of you assholes out there lose a mom too, then you can come n talk to me. yeah, i'm an angry person too. lot's of people know that already.

well anyways, i have come to a point in my life, as some of my friends have as well, where i just wanna get wasted. i mean, get wasted drunk off my ass. tho this sounds like a similar attitude that college people have, this is actually totally different. i've had that college feeling then, so i know the difference. then, it was all about partying with your friends, knowing that your parents would get so mad, having good times, impressing people...something like that. it's associated with already being in a good mood. the mood i'm in, well, i've never been an alcoholic or have ever known one, but this feeling actually may be close. but not that close. this feeling may be associated with looking for those good times...being lost and looking for something familiar again.

and i come back to not knowing how to be happy. i think i was happy then...in the cocoon of chambana. the comfort of having my family 200 miles away (far, yet still in touch), and my friends a mere 5 minutes. now, my immediate family is spread out...it's quiet at home...my friends are 20min - 2.5hrs away...i'm no longer in a happy lil bubble...

and i know this is life. in a sense i guess. well, we're just scratching the surface here. i'll prolly write more concerning this in like a week or 2.

one more thing...hope brings me to the conclusion that i will be happy again in the future. expectation makes me sad that it's not now.


aye, it's snowing. but the thing is, i'm workin on one of the top floors of my building, so...sometimes, when the wind blows just right, it looks like it's snowing up. like, backwards. it's freaky kewl ;).

so this was from like 2 weeks ago. i kno. i'm slow. :P

  1. Mitchell:: Ate Sha's son
  2. Mercury:: in tuna can be bad for you
  3. Cycle:: one a month
  4. Engagement:: sweet, but a long ways from me
  5. Alternative:: music
  6. Gang:: cool n the
  7. Emotional:: me
  8. Skinny:: marilyn
  9. Hypochondriac:: claudine...hahahaha... ;)
  10. Insecure:: everyone

and in the event that you read kuya dave's responses on christine's website, i DID NOT read them before i did mine. I SWEAR IT. well, cuz ate sha's son is the only mitchell i kno. i don't do hair products. ;)

At this moment, what is your favorite...

1. ...song? Well, i've got 2: guster - amsterdam (gonna write you a letter), and tamia - officially missing you

2. ...food? oOoOo...matt's real chocolate chip cookies...

3. ...tv show? csi...george eads is mah bebeh's daddy ;)

4. ...scent? smell of onions n garlic sauteeing...mmmmm...

5. ...quote? "you just got saaaaaaaaaaaaaaacked"

so yeah, i don't expect anyone to read my page anymore...i write in it so infrequently now...i mean, i have frickin dsl at home and everything, but now, i'm just too lazy or something. like last night, i just passed out after the simpsons (10:30). i think this whole workin thing is bringin me down! hehehe...all good, cuz now i can go places n stuff without pinchin the penny too much!

hm. so, why have a phone if you're not gonna answer it? or at least call back? well ok, i kno i've done it before...but not often, i'd like to think.

oh well.

i need to go shopping ;)