so i haven't written in a while. i need to vent.
1. i didn't get no special stars n hearts pancakes. is that a new thing you do now? cuz you didn't respond. thanks. do you know what would make me feel better? if they were all retarded pancakes and you just prefer to call them your "special stars and hearts pancakes." but now that i said it, i can't believe you if you say it. think i'm being a lil brat? well i probably am, and who the fuck cares.
2. i don't want to like the guy i like anymore. my heart hurts alot...and not just bc of him. and if he prefers not to talk to me anymore, then fine. if that's the case, i don't want to like you anymore. i know i got some pretty big emotional baggage right now, and you prolly do too, but nothing would add on being with you or listening to your problems. it hurts too much to like a person that people said likes you but that person hasn't told you themself. i should just frickin tell him already and never talk to him again...unless he contacts me. always the hopeful romantic...stupid boys. well, i know i hurt, but i know it's not like the hurt when 2 people like each other but they can't be together bc of circumstance. that's gotta hurt like an emotional kick in the crotch.
3. i actually already DON'T like some of the ppl i work with. there's just something about them...the annoying lil noises, the sounds of their voices. agh. don't get me wrong, i don't dislike EVERYONE, but remember that you really can't like everyone you meet. n i obviously know this. i just wish there were more people here that i'd like to talk to and not feel all creeped out all the time.
4. am i pmsing? i'll say yes if there is an actual post-menstrual-syndrome out there. so things have started to get to me lately. what to do? not much. i just don't know what to do with myself anymore. do i really wanna go to LB? or do i just need to go somewhere for a lil while? i dunno. work eat sleep work eat sleep...then go out on the weekends.
5. i don't think i wanna go out anymore unless it's for a good reason. i barely even wanna drink anymore. i'm not an alcoholic, contrary to what many believe. i don't always have to have a drink in my hand...however nice that is. all it REALLY is is that i know HOW to drink. i know how to drink in large quantities, in small quantities and moderate quantities. it's wutever i'm in the mood for. don't force me to drink cuz i'll get mad. and no one likes that.
6. u know what sucks? knowing that every time your father looks at you, he's reminded of his dead wife...your mother. great huh? well, at least people say that i look like her mother, and not too much like her. splendid.
i'm tired. imma start being a hermit. just work eat sleep work eat sleep...maybe talk on im or on the phone. maybe text. i just need something new....i need a change. imma start thinking of what tattoo i want. hm. n i want my heart to stop hurting. for various reasons. i'm broken goods but not for the usual reason. n no one wants broken goods, right? sucks to be me. woofrickinhoo.
i need something happy to write about. i prolly just lost alot of viewers. eh.
what can ya do?
